The Girlhood Dream

Ms. Vida seems to think that I don't have a dream. Well, honey, I'm not Martin Luther King. I don't need a dream. I have a plan.

Noxemma Jackson, To Wong Foo

I met my friend Tyler in acting class. At first, I didn't like him because I thought he was a bit of a ham. One day, I wore my CM Punk shirt to class. I only wear really nondescript wrestling shirts as the really obvious ones are ugly (and rarely come in a ladies' size anyway) so I was really surprised when Tyler complimented me on my shirt and we started our friendship over our love for wrestling.

If finding an awesome ladies size wrestling shirt is hard, finding a friend who likes pro wrestling as an art is even harder. Our conversations on Wade Barrett and Damien Sandow also included conversations about Nigel McGuinness and Colt Cabana and we could talk about the fun and the technical sides. 

When Tyler asked me if I thought he could be a wrestler, I told him the truth. It's hard. I wanted to be a wrestler but it's such a long way to get to the point where you "succeed". For me, I didn't look like a stereotypical female fit model slash actress slash wrestler. For Tyler, he didn't look like the steroid freak mastodons that the Vince McMahons of the world love.

But he didn't let that stop him. He went to Storm Academy in Calgary and trained and I supported him as much as I could. He was doing something I always wanted to do but felt so beaten before I even began.

Tonight I went to check out a local wrestling event as I really, really wanted to hit on Colt Cabana (shut up) and I was really surprised to see Tyler come out during the battle royale match. I cheered like an idiot and cheered even harder when he executed a freakin' beautiful hurricarana. During the intermission, I went to hug him and was just so proud to see him wrestling FOR REAL. 

Dreams are easy to have but actually going for them isn't. There are a lot of hurdles. Most of my hurdles were things that made me tired before I even started. The scornful looks I got when I amateur wrestled as a kid and the realization that there are barely any female main events in the WWE. I am sad I didn't say "fuck it" and go anyway. But I don't regret where my path has led me towards another dream. I just wish I had been as strong as Tyler to at least try. 

When Tyler had his second match, he and I had an epic high five as he circled the ring to slap the hands of the crowd that reached out. Seeing Tyler in the ring, even if it wasn't WWE, inspired me to dream big and just go for it. I aim to be as big as Tarantino, to make art, to do everything and anything I can. My fear may have ended one dream but the inspiration from Tyler made me realize I didn't want it to end another.

This is awesome! *Clap, clap, clap, clap*

Play To The Finish

I reckon everyone should be working towards a goal. For the month of January, I have two: finally finish a short story I’ve been writing since November and complete The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask.

I love video games. I’ve had some form of Nintendo from the age of 4 to the present and have given my thumbs blisters on many occasions. In my 20s, I’ve been tempted over to other systems with the release of excellent games not available for Nintendo. But Nintendo has always drawn me back. And this one game has always drawn me back.



The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask was released back in 2000 when I was 13. After Ocarina of Time blew my mind two years earlier, I was eager to blister my thumbs during the inevitable 8 hours of game play EVERY DAY until I completed the game. After a few days though, I found my mind wandering. It’s not that the game wasn’t enjoyable; I just started to become overwhelmed with the futility of my actions within the game’s universe.



That last bit requires some explanation: the game is set over the span of 3 days. You repeatedly travel back in time to the beginning of the 3 days to find a way to stop the slowly falling moon, which will crash into Termina (the world in which the game is set) on the final day. When you travel back to the first day, everything is reset to the way it was on that day (save for the masks you’ve obtained, travel points you have created, money saved in the bank, and your weaponry). People you’ve helped and tasks that have been completed are all undone in the trip back to the first day.

Now you can see how annoying this can get.

I also had trouble completing the game as it is quite scary. Not in the gory, things-popping-out-at-you scary but the subtle, get-under-your-skin-and-keep-you-awake-at-night scary. A piece of unsettling music begins to supersede all other background music as midnight of the final day nears. The clock is constantly winding down while the grimacing moon gets closer and closer. And there’s the villain: a powerful, ancient, and sentient relic in the form of a mask that amplifies the dark desires of its wearer before corrupting and possessing the “puppet” to further its own motives. But the thing I found the scariest about Majora is it has no real motive. The use of its power to drive people insane, to destroy the world of Termina, and to generally make everyone’s lives as miserable as possible is just because Majora wanted it. At least Ganon’s repeated rampages through all the other Zelda games were because he desired power. What does Majora want? You never find out.

Lastly, the game is hard! I’m a person that likes to get through the main plot first and leave the obsessive pursuit of side quests to the people who write the video game walkthroughs. Majora is 80% side quests! All of which can only be done on certain days and at certain hours with certain items. Thank God the dungeon bosses are easy otherwise I’d never finish this game.




In spite of how many times I’ve thrown my hands in the air and tossed this game out the window, every so often I’ll get that itch to see if I can beat it.
I got that itch again after discovering that the game was available on the Wii Virtual Console and after I read this entry for the game under the “Earn Your Happy Ending” trope over at TV Tropes:

The world is going to end in three days and only you can go back in time to prevent it from happening. All the while people around you are depressed or dying, the four areas are in turmoil with suffering for all who live there, and trying to help anyone is pointless because you have to turn back the clock eventually to stop the end of the world making all your efforts to help pointless. All the while the Moon continues to stare down at you, scaring you and mocking your efforts at the same time. And yet despite all that you still keep going. You struggle for the light at the end of this dark tunnel. And when you finally see the sun rise on the 4th day, you know it was all because you didn't give up.

I’ve declared that 2011 will be the year I defeat Majora once and for all. After years of seeing “Dawn of the Final Day, 24 hours remaining” and being stuck in the same 3 day cycle, I finally want to knock Majora to the moon and see the dawn of the 4th day. Wish me luck!